The Pinnacles of Human Achievement

Behold, the greatest act ever to be captured on film.

Not to be outdone, however, by the greatest visual image ever created by the hand of man.

A [Bitter]sweet Pet?

Just what is America's latest exotic pet craze?

I recently found out on my recent trip to Florida that it's the sugar glider.

I had to look it up too.

Talk about a bad pet choice.

Sorry, Chinchillas...you've gone the way of acid washed jeans and Trapper Keepers, having been replaced by smelly and chirpy marsupials.

Who Says German Can't Be Pleasing To The Ear?

Marko first introduced me to this old comedic bit and it cracked me up.

I recently showed it to Meghan and now she's a fan.

Two Occupations I Don't Want To Hold During My Life

-Veterinarian
-Televised Golf Announcer

In Search of the Lost Album

While perusing an exhibit chronicling the trends of every generation since WWII at the Henry Ford Museum several weeks ago, my father instantly recognized the following album cover amongst a collage of baby boomer records.

"I used to have that Moody Blues album," he said.

"Really?" I said. "I've never seen it with all the old vinyl in the basement."

"Well, at one time I had it," he said.

I was pleasantly surprised by his taste and instant memory recall. Ofttimes I think my Dad was a lot more square back in the 60's and 70's than he really was.

Getting Played By The Market

I'm starting a virtual stock exchange game to try my hand at daytrading.

Anybody have any hot stock tips?

Paging Karl Marx

Obama's panacea for our economic ills?

Economic stimulus checks for the American people courtesy of Big Oil's profits.

While it's insulting and frankly scary that Obama would assault constitutionally-protected private property to pursue a populist economic agenda, the idea is representative of Obama's clear neo-Marxist pursuits of income redistribution.

Now American corporations are warning that a Democratic victory in November might mean rollbacks on labor union regulations.

While unions do not inherently quash an efficient marketplace, a new era of Big Labor courtesy of President Obama and a Democratic Congress would stymie economic growth and hurt consumers.

Don't believe me? Come here to Michigan. When labor unions overreach their good intentions, everyone loses.

I think the messianic sheen of Obama is wearing off, though.

He's now tied with McCain in the Gallup poll.

Let's hope more folks remember that these "new" ideas aren't new at all. They're 19th century ideas that were proven wrong in practice in the 20th century.

Let's learn from history and keep dead-as-a-doornail Karl and his faulty ideas in the ground, shall we?

Romney Bides His Time

I don't think Mitt Romney will be John McCain's running mate.

It's difficult for me to articulate why, as this is a feeling my political sixth sense has given me.

Although Romney is campaigning vigorously for his fellow Republican, he's not ridiculously pandering for the #2 slot.

I get the feeling he's playing it cool.

I think he knows that if he plays his hand well and waits one or two more election cycles his time will come for a serious shot at the Presidency as the Republican nominee.

I think the country will be ready then too.

Hostess And Hot Oil

Meghan and I had a deep fried Twinkie at the county fair yesterday.

Our lives are complete.

Video Didn't Kill The Radio Star

I thought Casey Kasem was dead.

He's not.

Tasteful contemporary Top 40 radio, however, is.

Obama Doesn't Say The Darndest Things

A new breed of politician, eh? Sounds like the same-old stubborn partisan pander-politics to me.

Try as you might, Katie Couric, but Obama will not say the words "surge" or "worked" in the same sentence!

Just admit that you were wrong in predicting the utter failure of the Surge before it was even implemented, Senator. Now THAT would be nice for a CHANGE.

A Vow to Rock

Piety and power metal aren't incompatible. Check out this guy.

It reminded me of an incident when an aged driver at work queried me, "the Mormon," about my listening to alternative rock. He thought it was unbecoming of a self-styled zealot.

I explained that I enjoyed almost every genre under the sun but did avoid profane music.

I could tell he still perceived me as an audio rebel within the patchwork of Mormon dogma.

I was humored.

Like Brother Metal, I've learned that intense music doesn't mean that it's necessarily obscene.

Some, like the aforementioned driver, have a impossible time separating the two.

While these individuals will forever be banging on their ceilings with their proverbial broom handles calling for a cessation of the infernal racket, let us enjoy the blessed ROCK AND ROLL that surely comes from above.

I guess it comes from drugs too.

Politiks

A cousin of mine I recently added as a friend on Facebook lists his political views as "liberal independent."

Why do I doubt he is either?

He misspelled both--"libral independant."

It made me chuckle.

Cereal Killer (An Overused Pun, Granted)

This post of Pilk's reminded me to warn you, the general public, of a new foodstuff hitting store shelves.

Fruity Cheerios.

While its color and same diminutive cheerio shape are alluring, beware.

Its flavor smacks of weak Froot Loops and its texture is akin to styrofoam.

Do not purchase this boxed cereal unless you are a breakfast masochist.

You Might Already Not Be A Winner!

I often see discarded lotto tickets around town here in legalized-gambling- slightly-makes-up-for-our-collapsed-rust-belt-economy Michigan.

I knew the odds of winning were pretty slim, but after reading this article I now know some folks likely had exactly a 0% chance of winning.

Which is essentially the probability of winning the lotto anyway.

Muppets I Have Known

My favorite obscure member of the Muppet canon?

Lew Zealand.

Move Over, Bright Copper Kettles and Warm Woolen Mittens...

My sister's baby, Emma, and my baby, Mariuxi, come together to form perhaps the empirically cutest photo ever taken.

(Photo courtesy of Dave Ryerse)

Sometimes It's Good To Lose

In hindsight, maybe it wasn't so bad that Mitt Romney failed to capture the Republican nomination for President.

Now that we know Barack Obama is the certified winner of the democratic primaries, imagine if Romney, aka "The Mormon," was going head-to-head against him in the general election right now.

Ugly.

While much of the PR the Church received during the Romney campaign was positive, old stereotypes and prejudices still reared their acidic heads.

Those were just the primary elections.

If Mitt Romney, the first Mormon ever to get a shot at the White House was campaigning against the first African-American ever to do the same, you'd see the classic "Blacks in the Priest-hood" issue get so far distorted by enemies of the church and Romney that the church would have a PR nightmare.

I think a higher power knew that would happen.

What Do You Do For Eternity?

When I was a little kid growing up and was taught the doctrines of exaltation and eternal life, I had one major question on my mind:

Just what do we do in a glorified state that lasts forever? Won't we get bored eventually?

As I got older, I figured the answer was no. My rationale was that infinite capacity for creation=infinite possibilities for activities.

In a book my mother-in-law insisted I read, Earth in the Beginning, author Eric N. Skousen made me think about this childhood quandary:

Simply put, if you are a being with an infinity of time before you, it is certainly consoling to know that you have an infinity of unorganized material to yet organize.

Eternal boredom, thus, remains an impossibility not necessarily because of our divinely-endowed capacities, but because of the infinite task at hand of organizing that which is not organized.

Indiana Jones Returns...To Face My Critique!

I saw the much-anticipated Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull last night.

I had been waiting for this film for years.

While it kept the swashbuckling spirit of the previous Jones films, I did take issue with several other aspects of the film.

For one, none of the characters seemed larger-than-life. Every single one seemed to be a minor player within the framework of the movie--including Indiana Jones himself. The closest Skull came to producing an epic persona was the psychic commie femme fatale, Irina Spalko.

The new Indy flick also failed to produce any quotable dialogue. I can recite at length the other three movies--but I can't recall a single witty line from this one. It did give us one iconic scene--that of Indiana stumbling upon an artificial suburbia soon to be exposed to a nuclear weapons test and surviving by jumping into a lead-lined refrigerator. But that was done sans dialogue.

John William's score wasn't particularly memorable either. None of his new themes or orchestral arrangements stuck with me afterwards. That's also a stark contrast from the old movies.

The oldies are, as always, the goodies.