What Happens When You Become A Dad #682

Your church clothes get weird stains on them...but you can't recall when they happened.

Blatant Zander Shoutout

Women often wonder about how men bond...

The answer is easy:
The virtues of witchin' a ditch.

Matthew, Mark, Luke, Juan

Philemon is pronounced FILL-uh-mon, not fi-LEE-mon, right?

We sang the Books of the New Testament song in primary (I was substituting for my old class) and I felt that the children were being led astray on the matter...

Fame

I helped out a man at work today who was obviously wealthy--he had just smashed up his 2009 Cadillac Escalade.

I could tell he was someone of significant stature by the reverential treatment the personnel at the body shop gave him.

He was badly shaken up by the accident and uttered a few lines about "the blessing and the curse of his famous name."

I had no idea to what he was referring to.

Only when he left did my coworker inform me he was one of the sons of Mike Ilitch--owner of the Detroit Red Wings/Detroit Tigers and founder of Little Caesar's Pizza.

I guess I still haven't lived here long enough to know the local celebrities.

Maybe I need to watch SportsCenter more...

Nah.

Speaking of local celebrities...I learned randomly from the aforementioned link that this esteemed humanitarian was given Detroit's key to the city.

Wow.

Vocab Word of the Day

Apotheosis

Look it up.

Then write a six page essay about why it's applicable to the current debate over Obama getting the Nobel Peace Prize.

The Story of Nothing

Barack Obama became the junior senator from Illinois...for doing...nothing (except having extraordinary ties in the corrupt Chicago political machine).

Barack Obama won the presidency of the United States...for doing...nothing (except not being Bush).

Barack Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize...for doing...nothing (except not being Bush).

I initially laughed, and then I cringed.

First Arafat, then Gore, now Obama?

Let's face it: these days, the award means nothing.

...so in that sense I guess he did earn it.

Whodiddit

Who built the great pyramids at Giza? Aliens.

Who is responsible for the mysterious disappearances over the Bermuda Triangle? Aliens.

Who gave the Nazis advanced rocket and jet propulsion technology? Aliens.

Who shot JFK? Aliens*.

Yes, extraterrestrials have played a role in virtually every major historical event on planet earth.

Don't you ever watch the History Channel?

*Also acceptable: Nazis