Monday, October 26, 2009

Matthew, Mark, Luke, Juan

Philemon is pronounced FILL-uh-mon, not fi-LEE-mon, right?

We sang the Books of the New Testament song in primary (I was substituting for my old class) and I felt that the children were being led astray on the matter...

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Fame

I helped out a man at work today who was obviously wealthy--he had just smashed up his 2009 Cadillac Escalade.

I could tell he was someone of significant stature by the reverential treatment the personnel at the body shop gave him.

He was badly shaken up by the accident and uttered a few lines about "the blessing and the curse of his famous name."

I had no idea to what he was referring to.

Only when he left did my coworker inform me he was one of the sons of Mike Ilitch--owner of the Detroit Red Wings/Detroit Tigers and founder of Little Caesar's Pizza.

I guess I still haven't lived here long enough to know the local celebrities.

Maybe I need to watch SportsCenter more...

Nah.

Speaking of local celebrities...I learned randomly from the aforementioned link that this esteemed humanitarian was given Detroit's key to the city.

Wow.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Vocab Word of the Day

Apotheosis

Look it up.

Then write a six page essay about why it's applicable to the current debate over Obama getting the Nobel Peace Prize.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

The Story of Nothing

Barack Obama became the junior senator from Illinois...for doing...nothing (except having extraordinary ties in the corrupt Chicago political machine).

Barack Obama won the presidency of the United States...for doing...nothing (except not being Bush).

Barack Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize...for doing...nothing (except not being Bush).

I initially laughed, and then I cringed.

First Arafat, then Gore, now Obama?

Let's face it: these days, the award means nothing.

...so in that sense I guess he did earn it.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Whodiddit

Who built the great pyramids at Giza? Aliens.

Who is responsible for the mysterious disappearances over the Bermuda Triangle? Aliens.

Who gave the Nazis advanced rocket and jet propulsion technology? Aliens.

Who shot JFK? Aliens*.

Yes, extraterrestrials have played a role in virtually every major historical event on planet earth.

Don't you ever watch the History Channel?

*Also acceptable: Nazis

Sunday, October 04, 2009

Armchair Prophet

Elder Gibbons recounted a story from church history I had never heard before in this month's Ensign.

In May 1978, before this revelation
[on the priesthood] was announced to the Church, the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles met in the Salt Lake Temple. At the conclusion of the meeting, Elder LeGrand Richards (1886–1983) asked if he might say a few words. He told the Brethren that during the meeting he had seen a personage sitting in an armchair above the organ. He said the personage was President Wilford Woodruff (1807–1898) and suggested that perhaps he had seen President Woodruff because he was the only one who would recognize him. Elder Richards, who was six years old when he saw President Woodruff dedicate the Salt Lake Temple, was the only one in the room who had seen him alive.

Isn’t it interesting that this former prophet, who himself had announced a significant revelation related to Church policy, appeared as a witness of the truth and importance of this new revelation about to be announced?

I can see President Woodruff now...gazing upon the brethren with his piercing eyes...approving of the next great leap forward in church policy since he had issued The Manifesto...firmly ensconced in his prophetic La-Z-Boy.

Thou Shalt Blog

Yup, now it's a commandment.

Sort of.

While this blog isn't exclusively devoted to church matters, I hope it holds true to the above ideals of contributing to the online discussion of the restored gospel.

Post-Apocalyptic Boredom

The show's premise had promise...but it soon became boring. The participants built a few cool ramshackle contraptions (i.e., the solar-powered cart) but it couldn't compensate for the phony "marauders" and a constant low-level drama that got tiring quick.

Sorry, Discovery Channel...this was a dud.