I Pity The Fool! (That Missed The Series Premiere)

Last night was the first episode of Mr. T's new "Reali-T" series I Pity the Fool. It is without question that it delivered the good ol' tough-talking but lovable Mr. T we've always known. Mr. T successfully brought together a car dealership through the power of motivation. I therefore present to you the best quotes from this historic first episode.

"You know what I do to couch potatoes? I mash 'em up!"

"I had to get to Nemet Motors fast."

"But at Nemet motors, family feuds weren't the only knock in the engine."

"Thirty-five dollars? You gonna lose a deal for thirty-five dollars? That's CHUMP CHANGE! My lunch is thirty-five dollars!"

"But T never asks anybody to do something he wouldn't do himself. So first I got myself a fancy car salesman suit. Then I got on the phone to some potential customers."

"I had to teach the dealers my golden rule: Sell unto others as you would have them sell unto you."

"What about trunk space?" "I'm glad you asked that. I'm gonna show you how big it is. I'm gonna get in the trunk myself. See how big it is?"

"You know, I liked you from the moment I saw you on The A-Team."

"If you just tuned in, what's your problem Fool? Show me some respect, and watch my show from the beginning!"

"Don't beat the customer, treat the customer."

"It was like Scott was trying to drive with the parking brake on--a parking brake named Tom Nemet."

"Two things were workin': the windshield wipers on Scott's eyes, and the radiator in Mr. Nemet's heart. If you want to polish a relationship and make it glisten, all you really have to do is learn to listen."

"It was time to hit the nitrous, burn rubber, put the pedal to the metal, and get in the passing lane!"

"Cars was movin', deals was being made."

"Like I always say, you can't spell success without T."

"Helping people gives me a real sense of accomplishment, and I like to explain that feeling in rhyme and verse.

I came to Nemet Motors, down in New York City.
A place full of cars, and fools to pity.
Problem after problem, a messy situation.
The biggest of 'em all: a lack of motivation.
T took care of bidness, and others played their parts.
Not just sellin' cars, but touchin' people's hearts."