An Open Letter To My Son

Dear Son,

Sorry you're going to be working for the rest of your life to pay off the current government bailouts.

We didn't vote for him--we promise.

Love,

Your Parents

The BukranBlog Salutes Black History Month: A Tribute to Some of the Greatest African-Americans of All Time

Dear readers, your task is now to correctly name all 14 historical figures...who will be first?

P.S. By 'some of the greatest African-Americans of all time' I meant every black person I was aware of growing up in the all-white suburbs of Utah.

Ebony and Irony

Now, I'm no sociology grad student...but this doesn't seem like the best way to combat negative stereotypes about Muslims...

It's Official

I am my mother-in-law's favorite son-in-law.

She bestowed upon me the title while she and Mrs. Bukran were shopping the other day.

Apparently brother-in-law #1 is still trying to catch up from many initial years of not speaking to my mother-in-law even though he lived here as a newlywed.

Brother-in-law #2 had plenty to say to her when he lived here, but it was generally technobabble.

Both now live on the other end of the country.

So with my listening ear and geographic proximity, I win.

Victory!

"Bukran, You *Are* The Father" --Maury Povich

Our child's gender has been determined via modern subuterine sonar.

Baby, our home is ready and eager to receive your presence.

...When you are fully gestated.

Barack Hussein Obama, The 44th President of the United States of America

Just exactly how did the Bukran household celebrate such an historic political victory?

By turning his forehead into a memo pad and bestowing him with a mustache generally reserved for French villains/smelly kids in your elementary school yearbook.

Such doodling accurately reflects our feelings about November's electoral results.

For Once, I Agree With The Führer

You Got Another Thing Comin'

Sure enough, if all projections hold true, America will elect an opportunistic novice to the highest office in the land tomorrow.

Despite the critical situation at home and abroad we will have elected an exectuive neophyte in the name of "history" and/or vacuous "change."

But America loves to overcorrect--and Obama is as far away from W as you can get.

Here's for hoping for a "Dewey Defeats Truman" in '08.

Obama Takes Your Piece of the Pie

Forget the anecdotes and a slew of red herrings. This financial crisis was caused by the federal government playing mortgage broker. The following video systematically documents the seeds and fallout of said current economic malaise. It runs at a very fast pace, so pausing it will likely be a necessity as your read its quotes and highlighted passages. The last few minutes are spent stumping, but I urge everyone to pay attention to the data and figures presented here.

Now, to whom should blame be affixed?

On a completely different note of a humorous air, I can't get enough of Barack Obama talking about pie.

It cracks me up.

The Home Stretch

Huzzah! Someone finally asked the Obama campaign the tough questions of the moment!

The Obama campaign was so pleased it revoked all future interviews with this television station.

How is the media going to be able to accurately report truths about leftist President Obama without being bullied/blackmailed/smeared/denied by his support staff at this rate?

I think it's an ominous sign of things to come.

On another note, I think you all should read Charles Krauthammer's excellent piece articulating his vote for McCain.

My vote too will be cast based upon the matter of experience--and McCain has Obama schooled in that arena.

So here's to the Republican Ship in '08, Charles. It may be taking on water and ready to sink into the murky depths of political ignominy, but we held our bearings.

Ready to sail another day.

In Which I Attempt Voter Fraud

Not really.

I received my absentee ballot from Utah in the mail yesterday. I only wanted a Presidential Primary ballot several months ago (which I never got) before I registered to vote here in Michigan.

I'll forego the temptation to break the law and vote twice.

Although the Utah ballot does proffer the opportunity to vote for PC mogul/crazy person Superdell for Governor...

Sigh. Michigan is a swing state but we've yet to have a gubernatorial candidate sporting a 70's detective-style mustache and a platform with the adjectives "totally awesome" inserted into every sentence.

Sometimes other people have all the electoral fun.

In Which I Debate The Debates

The first two Presidential Debates I gave to Obama. He was consistently on top of his talking points and more fluid. Bear in mind that as an unabashed Republican I don't concede such things easily.

The Vice Presidential Debate I gave to Biden because of his grit and attention to detail. Many gave the debate to Palin. Expectations for her performance had been minimized by the media and the leftists. When she exceeded said low expectations, I believe the talking heads were surprised (they expected a bloodbath) and gave her the win instead of the Old Gray Mare. I thought Palin's performance was contrived, vague, and almost robotic--especially at the onset of the debate.

McCain finally came out swinging in the third debate. He hit home on Obama's true weaknesses and displayed a control and tenacity we'd been hoping for since the first debate. Obama looked terrible in the beginning--tired, worn down, and bland.

Yes, this conservative only gave one out of four debates to McCain/Palin--not a good sign.

Victory appears elusive in November as I'm convinced this election hinges more upon the vulnerability of the Republican brand than character, candidates, or issues.

There's Something About Barry...

Barack Obama has been running his campaign for President for over a year and a half now.

What exactly bothers me the most about his ascension and possible presidency?

Is it his ties to radicals/race baiters/felons? Naw.

Is it the complicity of the media in heralding his gospel? Nope.

Is it his quasi-socialist agenda that will kneecap this already ailing economy? No, although this is a close second place.

It's Barack Obama's relentless, almost insatiable, quest for power.

Whether as President of the Harvard Law Review, a well-connected Illinois State Senator, a wunderkind U.S. Senator, or Democratic Presidential Candidate, Obama has demonstrated a clear pattern of creating ties and infrastructure to ascend to the next level of power above him as soon as he gains even more power.

The person(s) always on the benefiting end of such newly-bestowed power? Barack Obama.

Yes, Barack, you heard me right. You're one selfish dude.

You've climbed the ladder so fast you never stayed put to be accountable for the people's work.

If elected, next time, We The People will force you to be.

Because you cannot gain any higher office.

Ahem

Papa Bukran will soon become a very literal title...

Gone To Heck In A Hand Ballot

Many people have asked me if I find any compelling scriptural/anecdotal/historical evidence that Barak Obama is the Antichrist.

As a learned and rational individual, the answer is quite obvious...of course I do!

He is all things to all people... He is white. He is black. He is Christian. He is Muslim. He is a radical leftist. He is a conservative Democrat. He is a man of the people. He is an elitist.

Oh, and 6+6+6=18. Barack Hussein Obama has 18 letters in his name.

Tell me, dear friends, how do you know that Barack Obama is the Antichrist?

PBS Gets Under Your Skin

Anybody else remember Slim Goodbody?

You know, the guy on PBS in the skintight bodysuit with all of the organs painted on that was constantly preaching healthy eating and exercise?

Man, that guy was creepy.

The Tried To Make Me Run For VP, I Say No, No, No

As many have noted, Sarah Palin looks an awful lot like Tina Fey.

Doesn't her hairdo piled on top remind you of a diminutive Amy Winehouse?

Celebrity lookalikes aside, I think the gamble of Sarah Palin for McCain's VP was a commendable choice. She's young, anti-establishment, pro-life, pro-family, and all around the average American mom that has never been represented on a major party ticket until now. This gamble has paid off with an electrified base that McCain himself could never dream of mustering up.

I don't think the selection of Governor Palin was a direct pander-ploy to attract disillusioned Hillary Clinton voters. The rationale of picking Palin runs much deeper.

I think the brilliance of selecting Palin is this: any criticism of Palin as "inexperienced" directly reflects as an instant satire of Barack Obama. Any arguments used by the Democrats to voice concern about the hot hockey mom turned Governor are directly applicable to the top of the Democratic ticket--and she's in the #2 "do-nothing" spot.

If voters ever were searching for a candidate who related to their day-to-day household management issues, Sarah Palin is The Mother Who Knows. Not a single pundit or ideologue can now say that the GOP cannot connect to peasant-voters and their economic woes.

While criticisms of her pregnant daughter have exposed pet media coverage at its worst (anybody remember John Edwards' affair?), I don't think 17 year-old Bristol should have a shotgun marriage with the unborn child's 18 year-old father. Let the child be brought to term and given up to adoption to parents who are fully mature and ready to provide. Now that's a commitment to the pro-life/pro-family agenda.

Joe Biden? A liberal blowhard and Washington insider of the worst kind. He was against the first Gulf War, for the second one, and opposed The Surge. Sure, he has foreign policy credentials...as being consistently wrong.

What's [Almost] In A Name?

Obama - b + s = Osama
Biden + n La = Bin Laden

Eerie, no?

The Pinnacles of Human Achievement

Behold, the greatest act ever to be captured on film.

Not to be outdone, however, by the greatest visual image ever created by the hand of man.

A [Bitter]sweet Pet?

Just what is America's latest exotic pet craze?

I recently found out on my recent trip to Florida that it's the sugar glider.

I had to look it up too.

Talk about a bad pet choice.

Sorry, Chinchillas...you've gone the way of acid washed jeans and Trapper Keepers, having been replaced by smelly and chirpy marsupials.