Sunday, December 30, 2007

A List, Inspired By The Primary Lesson I Gave Today

CITY WHERE THE APOSTLE PAUL PREACHED DURING HIS MISSIONARY JOURNEYS OR PLANET IN THE STAR WARS GALAXY?

1. Lystra
2. Ossus
3. Saleucami
4. Myra
5. Puteoli
6. Taris
7. Lannik
8. Rhinnal
9. Troas
10. Pergamum
11. Borleias
12. Myrkr
13. Cerea
14. Rhegium
15. Berea
16. Miletus
17. Metellos
18. Perga
19. Deralia

Paul: 1, 4, 5, 9, 10, 14, 15, 16, 18
Star Wars: 2, 3, 6, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13, 17, 19

Sunday, December 09, 2007

[Mormon] Faith in America

Mitt Romney gave an excellent speech this past week as contemporary America's presidential fabric faces the possibility of being stretched to include a Mormon.

I believe Pat Buchanan noted well that you can vote against Romney solely because of his religion, but that just may say more about you than it does him.

It is a sad state of affairs when only the candidate who is an ordained Baptist minister is seen to be the harbinger of conservative Christian voters in Iowa.

Below I've included some of my favorite lines from this refreshing address.

"Freedom requires religion just as religion requires freedom. Freedom opens the windows of the soul so that man can discover his most profound beliefs and commune with God. Freedom and religion endure together, or perish alone."

"I do not define my candidacy by my religion. A person should not be elected because of his faith nor should he be rejected because of his faith."

"As a young man, Lincoln described what he called America's 'political religion' – the commitment to defend the rule of law and the Constitution. When I place my hand on the Bible and take the oath of office, that oath becomes my highest promise to God."

"I believe in my Mormon faith and I endeavor to live by it. My faith is the faith of my fathers – I will be true to them and to my beliefs."

"Some believe that such a confession of my faith will sink my candidacy. If they are right, so be it. But I think they underestimate the American people. Americans do not respect believers of convenience. Americans tire of those who would jettison their beliefs, even to gain the world."

"Each religion has its own unique doctrines and history. These are not bases for criticism but rather a test of our tolerance. Religious tolerance would be a shallow principle indeed if it were reserved only for faiths with which we agree.

There are some who would have a presidential candidate describe and explain his church's distinctive doctrines. To do so would enable the very religious test the founders prohibited in the Constitution. No candidate should become the spokesman for his faith. For if he becomes President he will need the prayers of the people of all faiths.

I believe that every faith I have encountered draws its adherents closer to God. And in every faith I have come to know, there are features I wish were in my own: I love the profound ceremony of the Catholic Mass, the approachability of God in the prayers of the Evangelicals, the tenderness of spirit among the Pentecostals, the confident independence of the Lutherans, the ancient traditions of the Jews, unchanged through the ages, and the commitment to frequent prayer of the Muslims. As I travel across the country and see our towns and cities, I am always moved by the many houses of worship with their steeples, all pointing to heaven, reminding us of the source of life's blessings."

"I will take care to separate the affairs of government from any religion, but I will not separate us from 'the God who gave us liberty.'"

"Recall the early days of the First Continental Congress in Philadelphia, during the fall of 1774. With Boston occupied by British troops, there were rumors of imminent hostilities and fears of an impending war. In this time of peril, someone suggested that they pray. But there were objections. 'They were too divided in religious sentiments', what with Episcopalians and Quakers, Anabaptists and Congregationalists, Presbyterians and Catholics.

Then Sam Adams rose, and said he would hear a prayer from anyone of piety and good character, as long as they were a patriot.

And so together they prayed, and together they fought, and together, by the grace of God ... they founded this great nation."


America, your precedence of faith and politics is on the line. Now is too vital a time in our nation's history to get bogged down in the semantics of sects and doctrines. The failure of religious inclusion in this presidential election might show that, as Romney also says, "Americans [are] unable to accommodate their commitment to their own faith with an appreciation for the convictions of others to different faiths."

As a kid who grew up as a Mormon with political aspirations, I thought that the American experiment would always hold true for me.

I want to know that this childhood ideal is real.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Fall 2007 TV Critique

Being unemployed until recently, I've taken a keen interest in television's offerings this fall. I therefore present my glib reviews for this season's new shows and my verdicts on their ultimate fates.

Chuck. I got so tired of this show after just one episode I could have sworn somebody slipped me benadryl. From its hokey plot to its campy 70's-style TV action scenes to its minor side characters whose dialogues sound like stand-up acts to its cliché hot chick spies, just about everything on this show has been done before. Verdict: Save face and pull the plug after one season before I go into a coma!

Aliens in America. Ah, the fish-out-of-water comedy America needed post-9/11...or was it? While the genuineness of Raja coupled with the coming-of-age dorkiness of Justin has given us some fine episodes, the compelling introspection previously found on shows like The Wonder Years isn't present here. Verdict: Let's let this show last only as long as an exchange student's year in America.

America's Psychic Challenge. Do you believe in psychic abilities? After watching this show you might. By far Lifetime's best show in, well, ever, the show features psychics battling it out in challenges that are controlled and scored. Addictive? Yes. Often amazing? Yes. Verdict: Read my mind and bring it back next season!

Cavemen. Sure, our metrosexual hominid friends made funny commercials. Were they able to make a funny sitcom? No. Why? The show failed to capitalize on two factors that made the commercials so great: the soft bigotry of the homo sapiens towards the Cavemen and the occasional lapses in judgment by the Cavemen that showed them to be subhuman. Thus, we get a unfunny show about long-haired twentysomethings frittering away their lives and whining about it (Joel, there's a reason why you were never in the commercials!). Verdict: Send it back to the cave and cancel it!

Journeyman. Shows about time travel/unique foreknowledge of future events have been done before on television--and better I might add. Journeyman has none of the swashbuckling spirit of Quantum Leap and absolutely zilch of the unwitting heroism that characterized Early Edition. Furthermore, an hour show about stopping a single kidnapping is too long. These characters are constantly bitter and confused. Hence, we don't care about them. Verdict: Go back in time and stop it before it happened!

Last One Standing. By far the winner of this season, the show has proven that the reality genre can be captivating. Invigorating and intense, the show is drenched in the spirit of competition. With diverse cultures and vistas from all over the globe providing the backdrops for this show, it's far more entertaining than any Hollywood hack's script. Verdict: Start filming a new season as long as the tribal competitions don't get too banal!


The Office, Season 4. It may not be new, but overall the series is still going strong despite some problems. Yes, the tension between Jim and Pam is gone. Yes, Kelly is now from the ghetto. Yes, Dwight's depression has robbed us of his quirky mayhem. However, the same interpolation of characters we've come to know and love is still omnipresent. The recent episode "The Deposition" was key evidence of that. Verdict: End the writer's strike so this season doesn't burn out right after it started!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

More Fodder For McSweeney's













A-TEAM EPISODES THAT COULD SERVE AS POTENTIAL CHAPTER TITLES IN GEORGE W. BUSH’S FUTURE MEMOIRS


A Little Town With an Accent
The White Ballot

The Out-of-Towners

The Beast From the Belly of a Boeing

The Only Church in Town

The Road to Hope

There's Always a Catch

Mission
of Peace
Showdown!

Say It With Bullets

Cowboy George

Harder Than it Looks

Semi-Friendly Persuasion

Moving Targets

Bad Time on the Border

Beverly Hills
Assault
Blood, Sweat, and Cheers

When You Comin' Back, Range Rider?

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Do You Really Want This Woman To Be The Leader Of The Free World?

No, America, you do not.

Seriously. No Hillary in '08. Talk about the worst direction we could give this country in such a critical hour. I don't even need to justify myself.

Lists

On a recent trip to MSU I discovered McSweeney's Lists. Their snappy highbrow humor has inspired me to write several similarly-styled lists of my own. Someday I hope to have the site publish my work. Until then the BukranBlog will be the publisher of choice for said lists. The following is one of my favorite I've written so far. More to come.






STAR TREK THE ORIGINAL SERIES EPISODE TITLE OR DRAGONFORCE POWER METAL BALLAD?

  1. Balance of Terror
  2. A Taste of Armageddon
  3. Invocation of the Apocalyptic Evil
  4. The Devil in the Dark
  5. Valley of the Damned
  6. Starfire
  7. Operation – Annihilate!
  8. The Doomsday Machine
  9. Disciples of Babylon
  10. Dawn Over a New World
  11. Journey to Babel
  12. Soldiers of the Wasteland
  13. Cry of the Brave
  14. Operation Ground and Pound
  15. For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky
  16. Through the Fire and the Flames
  17. Lost Souls in Endless Time
  18. Whom Gods Destroy
  19. Storming the Burning Fields
  20. Let That Be Your Last Battlefield

Star Trek: 1, 2, 4, 7, 8, 11, 15, 18, 20
DragonForce: 3, 5, 6, 9, 10, 12, 13, 14, 16, 17, 19

Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blog

For those of you who didn't know...

I'm married now.

Along with all the other various life changes associated with matrimony, Meghan and I have created a family blog by the name of Megkran (Meghan+Bukran=Megkran). Our family adventures and exploits will largely be housed there from now on. The BukranBlog will still serve, however, as my personal mouthpiece from which I will dictate commentary regarding miscellaneous happenings in the universe.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Holy Cow I'm Getting Married: A Mega-Update From Michigan

I can't believe that two months have lapsed since my last update. This summer has flown by. I will therefore of repent of my sins of blogmission by highlighting the major events of the past two months.
From the time I graduated to when I left for Michigan I worked at the Jordan Narrows Pumping Station for the Provo River Water Users' Association. By far the chillest job I've ever had, I thank Bateman for this hook-up. I got paid to check gauges every four hours and sleep all by my lonesome. I worked from 6:30 PM to 6:30 AM four days a week. It gave me my own "kingdom" complete with windmills, fish, deer, a river, insects, and trains.

One of the coolest aspects of this job was that friends and family could come and visit at any time. Mark and his friends and Dave came several times to chill and fish. We mostly caught catfish and a lone carp. Also, Meghan's work was about five minutes away, so she often came to visit me after she got off of work.

Shortly before we left for Michigan we went boating at Pineview. Just a few days later when we brought the boat into the shop we learned that the entire engine housing was totally rotted out beyond repair. Sad day. This boat has been in the family since around 1980. I've known it all my life. Now it's gone. Here's to you, Stoddard Family Boat: 1980-2007.

My brother Mark is now Elder Stoddard and in the MTC preparing to go to Chile. He went in June 20th. In the days before he left, we spent some good times going to the Salt Lake Temple together, eating steak at Kitty Papas (seen above), buying Father's Day presents at Rite Aid at midnight, chatting, and laughing a lot. Yup, I miss him. But he's enjoying the MTC and going to be a super missionary.

Swag, my roommate of three years and one of the best friends I've ever had got married on June 22nd. Hard to believe that three years ago we'd all be old and married by this point. I love Squeegin and I love Tanya. I wish them the best of luck and will miss them in my life.

My 24th birthday was by far my best in recent memory due to Meghan and her family birthday traditions. My day began with breakfast in couch (darn honor code) complete with wrapped cupcakes with candles inserted into them. Throughout the day, I received some sweet presents, including a wicked cool Transformers action figure and tickets to see the movie. Lunch was also amazing and Megs also took me go-carting. Thanks again for the amazing birthday, Megs!

As my limited days in Utah coincided with my waning days of singlehood, my friends gathered together for a bachelor party in my honor. I was pleased at the high turnout. All the necessary elements for a successful send-off for a prospective groom were present at this event: guns and steak. Before we dined on ribeye and virgin margaritas at the Texas Roadhouse, we went skeet shooting. From old roommates to elementary school friends, from mission buddies to new roommates, I've truly been blessed with a cadre of loyal and good friends.

Ever since July 2nd I've been in Michigan. It's been trademark Deibel intensity. There was the Fourth of July, camping at Rifle River, and the reunion "Up North" (seen above). Yup, I'm a member of the clan for all intensive purposes. I've had nothing but good times here, and look forward to living here. And, as always, the food has been delicious and plentiful.

Meghan went through the Detroit Temple and received her endowments on July 17th and had a most pleasant experience. What an awesome experience it was to take her there and to have her family supporting her. I look forward to going to the temple very regularly with Megs.

And here I am...almost exactly five hours away from being eternally sealed to the most amazing girl I've ever met. This life moment has arrived. Interesting this marriage dealio...you're expected to do it after only being an adult for a few short years and only once. I don't know if anything can ever truly prepare you for something so life changing...but I'm ready. Meghan is everything I've ever wanted in a companion. I know my life with be forever blessed by her love. I love you, Meghan. Here's to us and our family, on this the day of our marriage for time and all eternity.

Friday, May 25, 2007

I Say, This Demolition Derby Is Absolutely Smashing!

I love demo derbies. I absolutely love 'em.

Meghan had never been to one before, so on May 19th we decided to get in touch with our inner white trash and attend one at the Golden Spike Arena in Ogden.

Demo derby driving is a garish ballet of steel, rust, dirt, and radiator fluid. This derby was no exception. One car got its entire back third sheared off, while another entrant's back half was forced on top of another car, leaving its back tires dangling in the air above the hood of the offending auto.

But the automotive carnage is just part of the fun of a demo derby--the people watching is equally entertaining. Although mullet levels we dangerously low, the following list summarizes the crowd element of the derby nicely:

-hunting shirts
-Budweiser
-tank tops
-Marlboro

And let's not forget the little boy with the "I Heart Golden Corral" t-shirt. That was my favorite.

Yes, it just might be the world's most perfect sport.

Gradiashun

Yes, undergraduate college work does end. I can now personally testify to that. After four years at BYU and four major changes I finally graduated with my bachelors of arts in political science. Much of my motivation to finish school in the face of senioritis this past year is because of Meghan. I owe much of this degree to her.

Meghan also graduated, earning her bachelors of science in home and family living summa cum laude. Her parents came from Michigan for the event and were here for five days, bringing with them Sizzler dinners and wedding plans needing approval.

Bukran, Milhouse, & Campos: we've come a long way from W-Hall our freshman year. By this summer we'll all be married and I'll be the only one without a kid.

A large chunk of this degree is also due to my parents. Without their unwavering support and love this education dealio would have been far more of an uphill climb.

The Capstone Gang: Mark, Adam, and Houston. We sat next to each other during convocation and discussed life, marriage, our plans for after graduation, and (of course) politics. Professor Christensen, our capstone professor, was handing out diploma cases. When he saw us ("his friends") all in a row his smile grew to be a mile wide and his handshake was indeed personal. What a character...what a great professor.

Commencement ended up being a much ado about nothing. Those who boycotted it ended up the dunces: for President Hinckley and Elders Scott and Bednar came along with Vice President Cheney! Cheney's ultra-benign micro-speech on life lessons he's learned made even the most hardened Democrat blush with the realization that political zealotry sometimes gets in the way of life and common sense.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

The Big Day

Meghan and I will be married (see previous post) on July 21st, 2007 in the Detroit Michigan Temple. We will have a reception later that night in Saginaw at Kathleen's and then a reception in Bountiful at Lewis Park on July 27th. We hope to see you all there.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Engage

Last Friday on April 13th in the year 2007 I made the best decision of my life...I asked Meghan Elise Deibel to marry me.

Gather around people, and I shall tell you the tale of how I contracted eternal matrimony with the woman of my dreams!

I decided the night before to do it. Never have I wanted to do something at one moment so intently...this was the date marked by heaven to get engaged on.

My Friday classes were dominated by constructing plans to execute the mission. I picked up the ring around 12:00 between classes. By the time I got out of class at 4:00, it was off to the supermarket to purchase picnic supplies. I specifically phoned my roommate Steve to ask if we had oil and balsamic vinegar in case I had to buy some. I even had him double check because I suspected we had run out of one or both. "Yeah," he said. "We have plenty." As I got home, I saw that the oil bottle was empty. I asked Steve where the rest of the oil was. He responded that it was in the cupboard next to the stove. Turns out it was a huge thing of CANOLA oil. I had meant OLIVE oil...

I told Meghan that I had gotten tickets to the Divine Comedy show that night and that we'd catch dinner before the show. I also swung by my friend Dave's place to get some fancy goblets and dishes. I neglected to put these dishes and goblets in my trunk before Meghan got in the car...so I quickly fabricated the story that I had gotten them "for a friend's date." Whew. That was close.

By the time I had changed and had gotten everything (well, almost everything) ready we were running a little late, so we decided to "go to Wendy's." Once we were in the parking lot of Wendy's, I put a blindfold on her and put her back in the car. It was go time.

We drove up to Bountiful to Holbrook Canyon which is exactly due west of my hometown temple. As we were driving along Bountiful Boulevard, I realized that I had yet to call her father and ask for permission (as it had been a very recent decision). After we parked in the canyon parking lot, I told her to sit tight.

I then called Brother Dave Deibel to ask for his permission/blessing to marry his daughter. He responded that he would "love to" because we "get along pretty well." It really wasn't a nerve racking experience--I was a man on a mission!

I placed the picnic (precariously) in one hand and held Meghan's in the other (she was still blindfolded) as we walked up a fairly steep hill that directly overlooks the Bountiful Temple and the Great Salt Lake Valley. She had not reckoned on a hike, so her shoes were not exaclty ideal...But we made it to the top in a short time.

I then proceeded to arrange the Mediterranean picnic dinner that consisted of a variety of meats and cheeses, French bread, Martinelli's, grapes, strawberries, and a 100 Grand bar.

I also placed the ring into its designated hiding place: underneath the biggest strawberry in the pint of that fruit I got for dessert. I also placed that mammoth berry right side-up so it would look the most appealing to pluck.

I couldn't have planned the moment when I took off Meghan's blindfold any better. The sun was just barely beginning to set above Antelope Island, coloring the water and sky alike a bright orange. The temple was directly beneath us, and a full dinner complemented our hilltop vista.

I asked her if she would like to have a picnic with me.

She agreed, but I later found out that she had anticipated the proposal at that perfect moment. My red herring of a surprise romantic dinner had succeeded. She now thought it was just a picnic.

After an amazing meal we heartily consumed (we both were pretty hungry), I offered her the dessert strawberries and suggested she pick the "biggest one." Thankfully, she picked the designated strawberry and exposed the ring.

Her eyes got wide and stared at me.

I then got on my traditional right knee and asked Meghan to marry me. She consented with a resounding "yes" and we both misted up a little. Insert PDA here.

I then put the ring on her, but it turns out the "right" size 6 ring that I got was a bit small. She wore that ring of rings on her pinkie finger the rest of the night.

After packing up the picnic, we walked down the steep hillside in the dark, marvelling at how Meghan had done it blindfolded before.

Meghan then reminded me that it was Friday the 13th. How ironic--the most unlucky day of the year now was the luckiest of all time! Needless to say, it will be easy to remember the infamous day on which we got engaged because of its reverse significance.

Once we got back to the car Meghan called her parents. They had known about our plans for several weeks and were excited and eager upon learning that it was official. After exiting the car to walk around the Bountiful Temple grounds, I quickly discovered that I had locked my keys in the car. I called my dad... "Number one, I'm engaged! Number two, bring a coat hanger, I locked my keys in my car."

We walked around the dark but beautiful sacred grounds and then waited for my dad.

I tried to jimmy the door with the hanger for 15 minutes to no avail. We then called the cops who shortly arrived. They were able to slimjim the door open in a few seconds. I told the cops I had just proposed and one of them asked to talk to Meghan in my parents' van. His words went something like this:

"First, congratulations. Second, are you sure you want to marry this guy? He just locked his keys in his car... He's probably going to be distracted for the next little while. Better keep a spare so this doesn't happen again."

After law enforcement had hammed it up and left along with my parents, I told Meghan that I had another surprise for her. At that moment, I meant to pull the trunk release, but instead I hit the seat release. My seat and my torso quickly went horizontal. "That's, uh, not the surprise," I tacitly said.

After pulling the correct lever, I gave Meghan a dozen roses I had stashed in my trunk.

We then went to my parents' home to take some pictures (see above).

After arriving in Provo, I said good-bye to Meghan as she went to tell her sister and roommates.

Happy? I guess that partially explains how I felt about the whole amazing experience.

But there was something more...a joy. An amazing joy.

That our life together had just begun.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Back to Basics

Initially I was critical of Cheney coming to speak at graduation. I considered it a misstep on the part of the university given his unpopularity and the inevitable protest against his coming that would ensue (see above).

But yesterday I made a conscious decision to back BYU and the Vice President's commencement address. My Republican conscience called upon me to oppose this spectacle.

The BYU College Democrats exploited this controversy through sensational means that have become the calling card for the anti-Bush folks. I.e. "Cheney is a war profiteer," "Cheney is a baby killer," and most of all, "Cheney is EVIL." This protest injected us into the partisan circus that has accompanied W's administration that we had avoided up until this point. We are officially now just as petty as virtually any other university in America.

Once again the left has hijacked a venue to bash Bush and the Iraq War. Cheney is coming with an apolitical motive to deliver an apolitical speech at an apolitical organization. It is one of only two commencement addresses he is giving this spring. He is without a doubt the most prestigious non-church figure to come to graduation in 20 years. This is an honor, and we should recognize it as such.

I gave several film and print interviews to this effect. A snippet of one even made it into the Deseret News. Unfortunately, the article fails to mention which side I was on. Nevertheless, I felt vindicated when the Daily Universe released a poll about Cheney's visit today stating that well over half (55%) of respondents were in favor of this visit, less than half (39%) had no opinion, and only a few (6%) were opposed. Now that's what I call a conservative/politically apathetic community!

Protests are slated for graduation day. Ridiculous. The administration was uncannily kind in its blessing of yesterday's protest. Once again, the left at BYU is proving itself an organization of self-proclaimed non-conformists who protest for the sake of protest because they consider it their entitlement as students at an instituion of higher education.

That was an interesting foray outside of the hardline Republican right for me... I guess I never will stray too far from my partisan roots.

Monday, April 02, 2007

The Tradition Continues

Mark opened up his mission call last Wednesday after much anticipation. The future Elder Stoddard received his call to the Chile Antofagasta mission! He (along with everyone else) is stoked, for the Stoddard South America tradition rolls on! (My father served in Peru, and I served in Ecuador.) How sweet it is to have the common experiences that accompany mission service in one of the Lord's choicest vineyards! ¡Viva Sión!

Go ahead, judge me--but it's not a complete family portrait. Meghan is holding my niece, Emma.

I'm hecka proud of my bro. He's going to have a rad mission. He's a hard worker and has been one of my best friends ever since I got back from my mission. Needless to say, I'm going to miss him something fierce--especially when the Asian Santa is quoted or I watch a kung fu movie. Nos vemos, ñaño. These next two years will change a lot for both of us--but it's gonna be tight when you get back.

Peggy Noonan and the Allegory of the Garbage Can

The recent Dick Cheney/Iraq debate reminded me of a great article I read last semester by conservative columnist Peggy Noonan...

I would encourage everyone to read the full text--especially conservative Bush supporters who are disillusioned with the way the Iraq War has panned out (like me).

The following direct quote from this article perhaps best encapsulates the ugly reality of Saddam's removal from power.

"Here is an unhappy fact: Certain authoritarians and tyrants whose leadership is illegitimate and unjust have functioned in history as--ugly imagery coming--garbage-can lids on their societies. They keep freedom from entering, it is true. But when they are removed, the garbage--the freelance terrorists, the grievance merchants, the ethnic nationalists--pops out all over. Yes, freedom is good and to be strived for. But cleaning up the garbage is not pretty. And is sometimes leaves the neighborhood in an even bigger mess than it had been."

I think history vindicates this argument. Whether Tito in Yugoslavia or Suharto in Indonesia, brutal authoritarianism gravitates towards societies where it is needed to keep order. The lid on Iraq has now been off for four years--and garbage is strewn all across its neighborhood.

Now we shall wait and see how long it takes until we have sufficiently fatigued ourselves in the effort to take out Iraq's unlimited sectarian trash...

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Guess Who's Coming to Graduation?

So Dick Cheney is coming to speak at commencement...

I have mixed feelings.

Like most BYU students, I identify myself as a conservative and a Republican. It's quite a prestigious honor to have the Vice President come--after all, it's one of only two commencement speeches he's going to give this spring.

But talk about a low point... The man Cheney and the institution he represents have never been more unpopular. Once again, BYU is asserting the stereotype that it is an ultraconservative institution that will slap the backs of the far right in this country regardless of the current national political tenor. The 60's saw the Y holding forums that encouraged students to support the Vietnam War. The 00's have seen the university maintain itself of a bastion of Bush. Some things never change...

Don't get me wrong--as an organization founded upon the gospel it is proper for us to avoid the whims of the world and be seen as a relatively unwavering place.

But just for once, can BYU not display the most egregious alliance in all the land with institutional hyper-conservatism?

In theory I should be ecstatic that the executive branch's #2 is coming. But instead, I'm embarrassed. Not because I consider Cheney to be evil, sinister, or corrupt--but because this visit only will embolden the critics of BYU. It will also certainly be a boon for a certain small contingent of anti-war and anti-Bush protesters who shadow the VP.

The time period of my college education has witnessed a total reversal of presidential fortune. Two weeks into my freshman year the attacks of 9/11 vaulted the Bush/Cheney team into a position of glory. Six years later, Bush is a lame duck and his ideology is synonymous amongst the global public with hubris and cronyism--and one of the most prominent figureheads of that ideology is speaking at my senior graduation. Karma, I suppose...

Granted, not many people in the future will ask me who spoke at my college graduation. But when I do tell folks, I suspect their reaction will include a cynical smirk indicative of history's often unkind hindsight.

What, was Thomas S. Monson or Donny Osmond not available?

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Shamrocked

This time of year brings me back to my roots on the Emerald Isle. ..

Okay, not super true--I'm only 1/16 Irish. However, in my family we've always celebrated Saint Patrick's Day hardcore and I intend to follow tradition. For dinner group, I whipped up a wickedly authentic Irish meal shortly before March 17th! In addition to these two dishes, I also cooked/purchased boiled cabbage and green pop. Here's to international culinary domesticity!

A glazed corned beef brisket. Forget the spice packet they give you--the orange juice and brown sugar glaze is where it's at.

Irish soda bread. This is a classic recipe of Mom's--I daresay I did it justice this time.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Dancin' Anarchy

The flash mob phenomenon has officially reached BYU. If you look carefully you'll see an individual in a red jacket come in from the left shortly after it starts...then you'll see him on the right. That's me!

Monday, February 26, 2007

Nutty Putty Cavey



True, it has been closed to the general public for quite some time now. However, if you show yourself well-equipped in terms of equipment and first aid knowledge, a group of caving enthusiasts will give you the code to the door that barricades the caverns. On January 6th of this year we proved ourselves thus worthy and delved into the depths of the legendary Nutty Putty Cave. Enjoying the healthy amounts of mud the winter runoff had bestowed to the stone corridors, we saw such sites as the Birth Canal and finally spelunked where many a Zoobie had before us--cementing our inextricable bonds to the subterranean world of Happy Valley.

The Soundtrack of Life

Apartment 20 has convinced me to indulge my inner junior high school student and cast the possible musical accompaniment for my very existence to totally random chance! Here goes...

‡Opening Credits: Loreli - Styx

*Waking Up: Theme from Knight Rider

†First Day At School: Dance (While The Music Still Goes On) - ABBA

‡Falling In Love: Infrared - Placebo

†Fight Song: The Love You Save - The Jackson 5

*Breaking Up: Bleed American - Jimmy Eat World

*Prom: Then I Did - Rascal Flatts

†Life: Blackout - Muse

*Mental Breakdown: Brass Monkey - Beastie Boys

*Driving: Brimful of Asha - Cornershop

*Flashback: My Favorite Accident - Motion City Soundtrack

*Getting Back Together: Title and Registration - Death Cab For Cutie

†Wedding: Caring Is Creepy - The Shins

‡Birth of Child: Lonely Grill - Lonestar

*Final Battle: Black Capricorn Day - Jamiroquai

‡Death Scene: Battlesong - Deltron 3030

*Funeral Song: Pardon Me - Weezer

‡End Credits: Fashion Zombies - The Aquabats

Well, now that I've conducted this little exercise, I shall now rate the results:
* = a good match (funny, appropriate, etc.)
† = a bad match (totally the opposite or just wrong)
‡ = a completely nonsensical match (totally random--I wonder why?)

According to my calculations, I contrived good tunes for the various facets of my life exactly 50% of the time.

I guess that's pretty good.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Do You Know Any Klingon Opera?


Here's your Star Trek clip o' the day...MELOTA!

When No One's Home...

No, I wasn't listening to Black Sabbath while showering...

Why do you ask?

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Spring Fever

The temperatures have not been so frigid and snow has been melting as of late... I am incredibly excited to engage in my favorite warm weather activity!

Just what does this seasonal frolic consist of, you ask? Jumping into my 1984 Subaru GL Sedan, rolling down all of my car windows, keeping my left arm firmly on the windowsill, bumping my music incredibly loud, and steering only with my right arm.

I can't wait.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

One of These Things Is Not Like the Others...

I found this t-shirt amongst a pile of 70's clothing my dad was finally sending to the D.I. It reminded me of something Napoleon Dynamite would wear... It's not totally random, however--my Great Uncle Dean and his family used to live in Jensen Beach, Florida. Nevertheless, whoever did the graphic design for this shirt likely held poor judgment regarding the use of juxtaposition...

Monday, January 29, 2007

Encebollado!

One of my favorite dishes from Ecuador, if not my most favorite, encebollado simply is amazing. It makes a great meal for any time of day and always fill you up. I found an original Spanish recipe, but have decided to translate it in order to spread the good word. ¡Provecho!

ENCEBOLLADO

Ingredients:
2 lbs. albacore or any other kind of fresh tuna
1 lb. yuca (cassava)
1 medium red onion, sliced and pickled
1 tomato, sliced
3 tablespoons cayenne pepper
Salt
Pepper
Carawy seed
Cilantro
MSG

Preparation:
Cook the yuca in three cups of water, adding salt to the water. When it is tender but not soft drain the water.
Cook the fish in a pot with three cups of water. Season with salt, cayenne pepper, cilantro, MSG, pepper, caraway, and tomato.
When the fish is cooked (but not stewed), remove it from the pot and seperate it into chunks. Save the fish broth.
Add the fish broth to the yuca pot and smash the yuca into medium chunks.

Serving:
Serve the encebollado in a soup bowl after combining the fish chunks with the yuca/fish broth. Guayaquileños always season theirs with plenty of chifle, ají, and limón--so I recommend that.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Scary Mary


I'll never look at Mary Poppins the same way again!

Monday, January 22, 2007

Haikus Are Easy...

Meghan and I saw some dude with this shirt the other day. I think its coolness speaks for itself...

Stalin's Little Brother, The Babysitter


This hilarious sketch is dedicated to Tote, who was the first to introduce me to the comedic gold of Little Britain.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

And The Winner Is...

In case you didn't know, the girls of B22 last year made a pact/contest amongst themselves that the first to successfully receive a sleigh ride courtesy of a male would be crowned the winner of said contest. As you can see, on MLK Day 2007 Meghan triumphed at Hardware Ranch in Cache Valley with yours truly. Human Rights Day is an obvious choice for such a victory, for minority elk have long struggled against majoritarian rule within the deer family.

The visitor's center was full of pelts and skins--including bears.

A very white and winged me. Who knew that I had the wingspan of a turkey vulture?

Meghan all up in dis Elk's grill.

Meghan with a beautiful 7 point buck that came down to feed.

"'Cuz it's lovely weather...

...for a sleigh ride together with you."